And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
