Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
