If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
