i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
