My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
