Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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