saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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