I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
