Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
