I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
