big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
