Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Randomize
