Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
