Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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