remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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