Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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