I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Too much gin, very little bucket
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
