you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
