i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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