ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
