I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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