wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
