So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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