I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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