I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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