North Korea, Best Korea!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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