she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
