she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
