My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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