Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
