Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
