I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Did I show you my penis last night?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
