and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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