Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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