IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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