Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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