i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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