Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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