Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Randomize
