p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
