Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
