Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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