i was born a porn star she said
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
