Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
