Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
well you can't waste a boner
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
