I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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