Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
