Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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