i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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