I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
