soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
