forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
