shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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