hell yes lets make some ravioli
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
