I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
